“It seems as if the day is upon us, fellow gentlemen. The time of nice guys finishing last has come and gone. It’s simple: play them at their own game. Brooke shows us how.”

Click here to read The Modern Day Bad Boy on Primer Magazine!

I recently read an article in In Touch Weekly (July 19, 2010 issue) about Kourtney Kardashian, eldest of the famous and gorgeous Kardashian sisters. The article, titled “Trapped!” was 4 pages of gossip, quotes, and commentary discussing why oh why Kourtney won’t leave the father of her son Mason–and boyfriend, Scott Disick.

Reading the article reminded me of something extremely important: the gossip magazines need a Soapbox perspective…and fast.

The article, like many others published, was a gathering and gossip piece. Entertaining? Sure. Sufficient? Not at all.

It’s time for a change…we need more, we deserve more…and so do the celebs. Maybe some psychologically intelligent commentary with ridiculous style? No problem…that’s where I come in.

So Kourtney, doll-face, if I…a shoe-loving-realistic-outspoken-intelligent-girly-girl-of-a -therapist had the opportunity to sit with you on my soapbox and get real about Scott…here’s what I would say. Fluff free.

You’re a 31 year old woman with quite a life under your belt. In addition to the huge fame, insane pressure, and the millions of things we don’t know about your life around men and dating, there’s this: Your parents divorced when you were 10, your mom remarried, then you lost your dad at 24. I think you deserve some support…and, an explanation.

Let’s break it down…

Kids of divorce, AKA you, deal with their adult relationships in many different ways. A very common response is that they simply don’t like break-ups. They don’t like when things fall apart, period. It’s too painful, too scary, and an unwanted reminder of the past…especially when there are kids involved, and even when the relationship is more crappy then good.

If and when a break up does happen though, it’s usually an abrupt and dramatic reaction to a specific event. Why? Because it’s less drawn out, and focuses more on anger than on sadness and loss. And for many people, anger is way easier (though not as authentic of course) to deal with than sadness and loss…especially when you’ve already lost someone.

Your father passing away has undoubtedly colored your relationship to loss in a big way. And I don’t know this because I know you (I don’t), I know this because you’re human…and that’s how it works. Loss of a life and loss of a relationship strike a similar cord in our hearts. Once you’ve felt that type of sting, you do everything you can to avoid it getting near you ever again. Even if it means staying in a relationship… (more about loss and relationships here)

So beautiful, from a Soapbox perspective, it all makes sense. It’s more than he’s an ass so why is she staying? You got into this relationship for a reason, you went back for a reason, and you’re staying in it for a reason as well.

My advice: Get honest with how you feel–fill your soapbox with your truth, then step up onto it with killer heals and a big voice. Know your history and use it. Write the rest of your story for yourself…fluff free.

And…to the magazines: Kourtney Kardashian has chosen the limelight, so her story and life has become available- understandable. But, if you’re going to gossip about people, offer some intelligent and helpful commentary as a side dish. Or…just call Soapbox Therapy, and we’ll take care of it for you.

Love,

Brooke

Thank you to Lisa-Michelle Kucharz–founder of The40Factor.com, for a great Soapbox interview about challenges faced by 40-somethings. Here’s a taste from the article, Somewhere Over The 40-Something Rainbow…

“In your 40s, you have a special something,” proclaimed Miller. “You’re experienced enough to know what truth feels like, and you’re young enough to believe in the magic of it. You pretty much have the upper hand — if you so choose to use it.”

…CHECK OUT THE WHOLE ARTICLE HERE!